youre lurking in front of me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
