he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
