Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
They took my balls.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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