then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
