You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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