I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
