Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
