dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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