He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
