5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
