Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
