im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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