Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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