Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
