I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize