I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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