we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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