Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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