he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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