wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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