PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
