My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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