I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
