the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
