Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
