Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
