So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
