i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
