Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
