It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
