just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
