Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
