Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
