I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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