We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
