Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
