you have to choose: penises or morals?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
