At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
