They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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