all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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