worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
