Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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