Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
COCAINE IS GR8
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
