i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
