You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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