If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
