We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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