I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've blown a few things in my day
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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