From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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