Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
